Alluring Deceit

I haven't had a solitary sexual thought in months (shut up Vergil). Until today.

This morning I was downtown having tea in a cafe and this...thing walks past me that was so beautiful I had to look twice. And he had a body like heaven. I could not stop staring. At some point I'm pretty sure I started drooling. He was just flawlessly gorgeous. Man would I love to hit that. Repeatedly.

Did anyone else see him? I'm wondering how you could even miss him. Where's he from? What's he like to do for fun? Why does his ass look better than mine? And why is that OK?

Well whoever he is he must be tired because he's been running through my mind all day~

...

If you're buying him toothpaste, you're crossing the friendship line.

...Unless you're trying to tell him something.

Edit: This also applies to having your own drawer in his dresser. The only thing you're missing now is keys to his apartment.

By the way, Celes, the downstairs is finished. It's safe to go look now.

Stupid sheep is gone. Been missing all weekend. Don't know where she went. Let her out into the backyard Thursday night and haven't seen her since then. Needless to say, I feel like shit I'm pissed, and I'm lacking the energy and patience to deal with this rationally. Really Elena, how careless can you be?

Guess I'll take my Tonberry out and try to track her down. Yeah, cuz I was totally trained for sheep tracking in ShinRa's Military Academy. Hahaha...right. Hopefully her collar's still working. And after this I'm crawling into a corner so I can just lay there and die in peace.

...I really want some strawberry lemonade right now.

She does have balls.

Wish I had a front row seat to whatever pissed her off. XD

Celes! Did you really stay over at Sephiroth's last night? Is THAT where you were?! EWWWWW! GROSS! You have one-winged cooties!

And then you made him waffles this morning. You bitch.

-_-; Stupid Tonberry did eat the cake. I just want to know who let him out of the basement. ¬_¬*

My skin is STILL crawling from when I threw myself into the hell mouth. UGH. I'll never be able to shake that. There isn't enough soap in the universe.

( private )

I'm never satisfied with anything.

You know what Lady? Let's pretend, for a second, that you didn't just contradict yourself by going "I don't care" and then making an entire journal entry about the fact that you don't care. That message? Wasn't for you. You take things a little too personally sometimes. You're the bitch, and you like for people to know it every fucking chance you get. You love to shove it down our throats until we're forced to shit it out of our asses. I completely understand that. Nothing wrong with it. I also understand you're upset and angry about what's going on. And you should be. Now, do us a favor and take out your frustration on the people who actually deserve it. Not me. Because while you're scouting the network for someone to pwn, people are getting their asses kicked and you're not any closer to a solution to your problem. Don't waste your time. Figure out what's wrong with Hotaru and fix it, 'cause from the looks of it, you've got a hell of a lot more on your hands than a possession. Then, if you still want to gnaw on me, well, we'll talk about it later. <33

( private to vergil )

I've got to breathe.

The weird hair that's been floating around killed the guy downstairs who owns the tea shop. Apparently he tripped over a piece and busted his face on the pavement. He had that one disease where bones are brittle and break very easily. Deliciously hilarious. Except, now he's dead, which means no more free tea. D: <-- That is my sad face. I'll be wearing it when I go to his funeral. For about ten seconds. Hopefully it's not in a church. Those things are nasty.

Honestly, death by HAIR? How do you put that in the obituary in the newspapers? Is that classified as dying of natural causes? Or is that just a freak accident?

Whatever. I'm having cake.

( Filtered to Vergil )

...

Whatever. I'm having cheese fries.

Wheeeee!

( private )

Sora, yes. People have told me how evil I am. And yes, I do owe you pretzels. And you owe me babies.

So, we now have two choices. You can either A) Drop your pants, or B) call it even. Personally, I prefer the first one, cause I want little keyblade kids running around poking each other's eyes out.

Are we blushing yet?

Damn it.

Sora. You are getting the biggest basket of the warmest, sweetest homemade pretzels ever. ♥

( oh so very private. not hackable. )

The best part of 'believe' is the 'lie'.

Can you all SHUT THE FUCK UP for two seconds?!

Here's a thought: Go mind your own business. And if you don't have any, go find some. It's called HAVING A LIFE. Fucking get one. They sell them at Wal-mart next to the Cheetos. Freaks.

TACOS!

Celes, I'm making Mexican tomorrow! Yay for Mexican! God I love tacos...Anybody else want some? You're free to drop by and pick up a batch if you want. :D I'm making nachos too~

*le sigh*